It's rough out there sometimes.

Tuesday.  Ouch.

Finally had my 504 meeting with the school to get my son the accommodations I know he needs. I've been fighting for this meeting for years, knowing that his writing just wasn't there.  But still. It's hard to see the work laid out, to hear it all from a table of experts, to think about how hard it must be for him.  He has dysgraphia and ADD.  I know, I know, there are tons of worse things, but that doesn't mean I want this one.

Two hours later, I took Jack to the allergist to get the results from his latest test.  Not only were all of his numbers up (the list is long, but the short version is:  nuts, peanuts, sesame, eggs), but there were more on the list:  fish, trees and grasses.  Oh, and we got our first rescue inhaler because he seems to have acquired allergy-induced asthma this spring.  He can't eat so many foods, and it's a life-threatening consequence if he does.  Another eating issue.  Why is eating so difficult for so many of us?  Evolution still has some work to do there.

So many things to be thankful for, which should be my next post, but I'm wallowing here.  The kids didn't see me cry in the car.  We do have so many blessings, and oh Lord, life can be so much worse.  But sometimes, I just have to acknowledge that it can suck, and then move on.

You are what makes it beautiful

"Beauty is no material thing.
Beauty cannot be copied.
Beauty is the sensation of pleasure on the mind of the seer.
No thing is beautiful.  But all things await the sensitive and imaginative mind that may be aroused to pleasurable emotion at the sight of them.  This is beauty."*

*from a book full of inspiration, "The Art Spirit" by Robert Henri.  This passage could be the caption of so many of the beautiful images posted by my flickr friends.  There are so many talented artists out who have the gift of seeing the beauty of life everywhere.

My husband thought the top painting was "pretty good" and thought it was one of mine. Alas, it's a detail from one of Picasso's paintings we saw at the Met.  The Blind Man's Meal.

It's My Party...

Where to begin? My life is settling. I feel the promise of an easy-going August looming in a wonderful way, sure to go much too quickly before we are back on the hamster wheel again. The boys sloved their four weeks at cub scout camp (day camp), but I'm so happy to ditch the daily drive and let go of the morning rush. I have big plans and summer projects and trips to the city, the zoo, the country, the beach, the back yard...I am a summer mom.

Oh how was my big 4-0 b-day party? Well, house full of best friends, kids away at Grandma's house at the beach, husband with an extra day-off, a road-trip all alone to pick up said kids. What was not to love? All of my preparations seemed so silly once the house filled up with old friends. It was the friends that mattered. They only needed a soft spot to sit, a cold beer and some great food to make it work. We did play my all-time favorite board game: Balderdash. I made everyone gather in the family room after our big group-cooked dinner and play Balderdash until 1am. We laughed until we cried and flexed our creative muscles a bit. Two of my favorite things to do.

After everyone left on Sunday, Mark & I still had a day alone together. We saw a 4:00 movie, went for a long bike-ride, ate a late dinner and read together on the couch. Just the two of us for the day really capped the wonderful weekend. I'm telling you, I'm digging this whole 40 thing. If this is what 40 is, bring it!

More on my five days at the beach later. Tonight, I'm feeling knitty for the first time in a while. I think there's a colorful hat waiting to be made from a ball of yarn.

100 Things to Love about Summer: 1. Day Tripping

School ended at 12:00 on Thursday and camp starts at 9:00 on Monday. Whew. That's a lot of chill-laxing to pack in over the weekend. Friday, the little guy stayed home and I took Max & Alex for a day in the city. They chose the itinerary which included stops at dad's office (two hours after we had dropped him at the train), a trip to a coin store, a trip to Kinokuniya bookstore, ice cream in Bryant Park, quick bite at Grand Central and back on the train. The coin shop was a highlight. John, the ancient proprietor lit up when I introduced my two young coin collectors. He sat them down across the counter and showed them coin after coin, explaining what made each one interesting. He then offered two dollar bills at a discount ($10 for a $2 bill...hmmmm) and my kids like nothing better than a deal. They've spent hours today putting each of their coins into a little sleeve and labeling it. So cute and so old-fashioned.

So, one thing I love about the summer is the free time to explore.

Spots of Lovely in the Day

Part of my perfect afternoon
Originally uploaded by Grey Cottage Studio

Recipe for a lovely afternoon:
- wear a funky apron
- bake a blueberry pie to share with the neighbors
- cut the gorgeous peonies from the side garden
- photograph the flowers just as it starts to rain and gets all super-saturated green outside
- enjoy Jack's extra long nap

Betty Friedan would be appalled.

Happy Birthday Dad

Today would have been my dad's 70th birthday. He passed away suddenly almost seven years ago and I still miss him every single day. There was nothing unsaid, no emotion not expressed. I don't have regrets. It's just that I miss shooting the breeze with him, because he was sure good at that. He was the kind of guy who claimed he didn't like parties, or meeting new people for that matter, and yet, as he walked through town, driver after driver honked and waved hello. The dry cleaner, the mailman, the plumber, the chief of police, the woman who owned the bakery, they all knew his name and he theirs.

You don't have to call your dad and say, "I love you," because just calling your dad to talk to him, and to listen to him, says I love you.

I wish I could call my dad right now and just shoot the breeze.

Boy in Green Cables

We're all Irish today, aren't we? Actually, I am part Irish (Northern Irish, by way of Scotland). Today was a day for green and a day for handknits. And of course, every handknit has a story (part of their charm).

Suddenly this morning I was possessed with the idea of finishing the only sweater I have ever finished. You see, it was ABB (All But Buttons). Yes, it took five minutes to finish something I started on a train about four years ago. I was knitting a sweater for a friend's new baby on the way from NY to Washington DC. I didn't know it, but I was pregnant at the time. I ended up giving the friend's baby something else because I didn't finish that sweater. And, it was a short pregnancy -- just nine weeks long. Fast forward to my pregnancy with my now two-year-old. While nesting during that pregnancy (oh the luxury of having my older two in school all day), I finished the sweater, well, A.B.B. It's a size two, so I didn't feel so rushed to put on the buttons.

Anyway, it sat in his closet looking lovely for two years. Today, in a feverish rush, I added the buttons. They are from one of my dad's old cardigans. Sniff. A great recycle. When Jack outgrows the sweater, I'll snip the buttons before handing it on. I used Debbie Bliss Cashmerino yarn which is an absolutely gorgeous shade of green, a ridiculously soft yarn, but already pilling after a wearing. I love the colors of this yarn, but I knew it would pill from other projects.

The sweater debuted today. The sales guy in the sneaker store really liked it (though he did ask if someone made it -- is that a good thing? He was very crunchy, so I take it as a yes). He was the only adult besides me who saw it today.

We'll take the luck of the Irish, but we need to make our own luck too.

Spring is more than something in your step

Lately I've been feeling "fine," uttered through clenched teeth with my eyes a bit watery and my pants fitting too tightly for comfort.  I convinced myself that the depression I fell into when Max and Alex were two was largely circumstantial (and there were mighty big circumstances:  the sudden death of my father, an ectopic pregnancy that required emergency surgery after a month of blinding pain and a winter in an apartment with two needy, well, two-year-olds).  Yeah, it sucked.  

Now this winter, I have one needy just-two-year old and two, still needy in a different way eight-year olds. And the wounds from the other stuff have healed, though still left scars.   This winter, I never felt black, but I was feeling a little blue.  

 Anyway, I write this bleak post because today, I felt so good. You know how that goes, when you feel better, you realize that you did feel badly.  I let Jack plan our day a bit.  We started by stopping at Starbucks with my husband, who skipped his usual train to have a tea with us.  Then to our beloved library, where Jack fetched story after story for me to read to him (sometimes jumping off my lap before we finished to get the next one).  We then walked through the melting snow over to get some bagels. We sat in the window seat of the bagel store and he marveled at the trucks and waved to several of our friends in passing cars and pointed at the dogs.  As we walked back to the car, he wanted to look at the creek that runs behind the library.  Today, I slowed down and let him.  He threw handfuls of snow into the creek and laughed.  I could be with him.  Not so tied to a schedule.  Just present.

I spotted daffodil shoots outside of the bookstore (my first of the season) and noticed some buds on our forsythia.  The wind stopped raging today.  For a moment I got a little giddy just imagining the explosion of nature around the corner. For the first time today,  I could smell spring.  Deep breath.

This Weekend I...

:: Finished this book. Funny. Smart. Great characters. Would make a good book for book club because you want to talk about it. (see, more than craft book reading).



:: Spent the night at a museum with 100 or so cub scouts and their parents. (Book was finished before said overnight)






Good times.

Bad back.